Mother makes a fresh appeal for information on 1st anniversary of son’s missing PE kit.

Mother makes a fresh appeal for information on 1st anniversary of son’s missing PE kit.

Mother makes a fresh appeal for information on 1st anniversary of son’s missing PE kit.

THE parents of a local student have made a fresh appeal for any information surrounding the loss of their sons 3rd PE kit.   

It is now 1 year since the sixteen-year-old boy lost his 3rd PE kit and despite a huge search by his parents, it’s never been found.

As we write news has just come in, the un-named student has once again suffered the loss of another PE kit.

Dumfounded, his mother told reporters how she was in ‘shock’ and rather ‘pissed off’.  The sixteen-year-old boy is claiming he did not lose his ‘stupid bag’ but rather has been again the victim of a phantom entity partial to a PE kit or two or three, even four.

Untroubled the sixteen-year-old told reporters: “PE brings nothing to my life”.

Deja Vue

However, we have been told how there are striking similarities to the last time

  1. It’s not the student’s fault.
  2. It just disappeared.
  3. It was a new branded PE Kit.
  4. The PE kit bag did NOT contain cheap, shitty trainers.

His mum recalls how, up until that fateful morning the unnamed student had been using the space in his school bag,  normally reserved for school equipment and school books, to ‘stuff’ his PE kit in.  It was becoming time-consuming and a complete arse-ache for her son trying to shut the ‘god-damn, stupid bloody bag’ shut.

Cheap Bags ‘R’ Gone

With constant complaining from the student, the parents reached out to their local sports shop in the hope they would have a branded bag in the sale.  Unfortunately, the bargain bucket contained only crap bags leaving them no choice but to dig deep.

It was on that fateful morning, the student had taken the unprecedented step and ripped the price tag from the bag with his own fair hands quickly discarding it on the floor.  Happy with his branded bag, he waited as his Mother packed it for him.

As he left for school, his parting words to his mum were “trust me”.  As he left his Mother is reported to have voiced her concern, was this simply one bag too far!

Why are you messaging me?

A source close to the family told reporters “his Mother sent him a WhatsApp to remind him he had taken his PE bag to school and more importantly to bring it back home.  I believe the message remains unread.

The couple have worked with the school to painstakingly piece together the last movements of the 4th missing PE bag.

Caught on Camera

Captured on CCTV the student is seen slowly entering school.  As he strolls by the camera the black, branded PE bag can be seen on his back.

He is then picked up later heading towards the science block, doubling back to the canteen where he buys 2 bottles of drink, identical to the drinks he already had at home.

Is my hair looking good?

He then stops to chat with a group of friends. After several minutes chatting & hair adjusting he is seen heading off in the direction of the Gym where unfortunately the CCTV malfunctioned reinforcing the students claim ‘someone’ must have taken it.

They are asking students to check any selfies they took during school to see if anyone caught the student on camera with his PE bag so a timeline can be built.

What’s a school bulletin?

Headmaster Ivor Noseforit told reporters “we have sent out a school bulletin no one reads to the students asking them to pray for the safe return of his PE bag”.

Anyone with information or sightings of a phantom entity weighed down with several branded PE bags should contact the school where any solid leads will be relayed back to the parents.

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3 Comments

  1. Katherine
    February 28, 2019 / 7:04 am

    I love this – it is literally me and my youngest!!!!

  2. March 5, 2019 / 2:20 am

    Hilarious and SO insanely relatable! Love your writing style so much #GlobalBlogging

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