Mother Still None the Wiser After Explaining Teenage Slang

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Mother Still No Wiser After Teenage Slang Explained.

It was only a year ago – okay….so it might feel like a year but sadly, it’s like twenty-five years longer, when I was an eye-rolling, straight-talking teenager.

It would seem since having my own kids a lot has changed, including the English dictionary!

Back in my day if I said I was ‘talking’ to someone it meant I was talking to them, engaging in conversation, asking them if they had any fags or booze that kinda thing.

Back in my day, there was colour TV, I only mention this as my youngest son recently asked me if it had been invented when I was young.  I wouldn’t mind, but he was deadly serious when he asked!

Today, it would seem ‘talking’ is not ‘talking’?!  Confused?  I am even after writing this.

I reckon learning Russian would be easier than trying to fathom out what the hell my teens are on about half the time!

So, if like me, you don’t speak teenage-language fluently have a look at wtf-does-that-teenager-mean dictionary for further help and confusion.

It’s only a small dictionary, five words in fact.   There are shit loads of other WTF words but it’s so bloody confusing I couldn’t be arsed to explain any more than five.

WTF-DOES-THAT-TEENAGER-MEAN DICTIONARY

TALKING

Teenage ‘talking’, not to be confused with “engaging in speech”.

‘Talking’ said in a lower tone (the tone is very important!) is the stage between being friends and dating.  The bit before becoming ‘a thing’ (see below).

It doesn’t mean two people are talking about getting a McDonalds or shit like that, no it means they are ‘talking’.  Are you with me….?

So the couple, who are not a couple, are however having a sort of relationship but are still NOT a couple, they are just ‘talking’.

In a nutshell its the stage between just friends and dating.

phone

Its gets even more confusing….!

A THING

Please note a ‘thing‘ does not refer to an unknown entity or Cat in the Hat.

thing

A ‘thing‘ refers to being together…..but NOT in a relationship.  I repeat NOT in a relationship.  Being in a ‘thing‘ is a step up from ‘talking‘.

You have both established that you like each other (bloody hooray for that!) it’s exclusive but its still not a relationship.  Even more confusingly you CANT, yes that’s right CANT get with anyone else while you are having a ‘thing‘ that is not a relationship.

Are you with me……..no, okay an example perhaps to make it clearer:

Me: “Adam, are you dating Eve?”

Adam: “No but we have a thing, and she can’t see anyone else”.

I know, I don’t get it either, pointless springs to mind and why not just say we’re friends with benefits and be done with it, but I’m betting that’s a different term altogether.

Which brings me to full blown dating.  I didn’t ask them what that’s called, as I was still making notes on ‘talking‘ and ‘thing‘.  God only knows what they call ‘dating’ and how complicated that must be!

CHIRPSE

A totally unidentifiable word which has nothing to do with the noise a bird makes.

It simply means ‘Flirting’.  I know, simple eh…….how did we not guess!

For example: she is deffo on the chirpse tonight.  Seriously, how ridiculous does it sound!

I think she is deffo on the ‘piss’ tonight sounds better and is clear for all to understand.

I know, I hear you, what the hell has ‘Chirpse’ got to do with being on the piss? nothing…nothing at all.  There is no connection, it’s me being random just like teenage slang.

PENG

Anyone wanna guess???  No, okay it’s an expression of real admiration.  Often used by boys to describe girls.  It’s a compliment of the highest order.

peng

ie. my husband thinks I’m peng and he’s dead right I am!

It can also mean great food.

Example: “That kebab with bad boy chilli’s was peng mate”.

I asked my kids the other day if their dinner was ‘peng’, I sounded stupid.  “Why are you talking like that mum, no one your age speaks like that,” said my teen son with a wtf raised eyebrow.

Thats right no one my age does.  So just for the craic and not because they have, once again said ‘I’m old’ whilst not eating their dinner.  I might use it when we’re out eating and the waiter asks if our food is okay, I will say “its peng thank you” and laugh loudly to draw even more attention to our table.

SKET

Opposite of peng.  And when I say opposite I mean the complete, further than you could possibly go opposite of peng.

Describes the opposite sex as being really ugly.  No further explanation needed.

LAST THING

I couldn’t end without jotting down two things, not slang words but ‘friendship code’ (my words before my two teens recoil in horror at this) I was just jubilant I finally understood what these meant straight from the off!!!

Chicks before Dicks

Bro’s before Ho’s

Both self-explanatory,

ME

As for me, this ‘ole girl will keep using the words we all understand, thanks very much, such as:

‘as if’

‘eat my shorts’ or

‘butt ugly’

which according to my son “no one speaks like that any more Mum”.

This might be so, but give me words understood worldwide it makes life so much easier.  Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.   Of course not forgetting text speak:

HTH and HAND PPL 😉

I bet you just googled the above eh!!

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19 Comments

    • October 23, 2017 / 4:16 pm

      and keep up I do….just with a little help along the way 😉

  1. Sarah - mud cakes and wine
    October 23, 2017 / 10:03 am

    Help me when the kids are older… I am going to be lost

    • October 23, 2017 / 4:15 pm

      Lol it will have all probably changed to some other words by then, but I can assure you they will probably be just as random 😉

  2. October 23, 2017 / 11:20 am

    This is so true, my niece referred to her new boyfriend as sick, which my mum thought was a bad thing, the difficulty we had trying to explain that he wasn’t actually ill#mondaystumble@_karendennis

    • October 23, 2017 / 4:14 pm

      LMAO….exactly that! it makes no sense at all. Love this thank you.

  3. October 23, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    This is hilarious. I shall have to make sure I get L to decipher everything for me when he hits teen years, so I can make him roll his eyes when I try to keep up and be all cool. Ha!

    • October 24, 2017 / 11:12 am

      Good luck let us know how you get on when you reach teen speak stage 😉

  4. October 23, 2017 / 8:26 pm

    Teenage slang changes so often. I have no idea what anyone is saying any more! Ha Ha

    • October 24, 2017 / 11:13 am

      Nor do I!!! I think they make it up as they go along 😉 lol

  5. October 25, 2017 / 10:04 am

    Not only did I howl but I also clarified a recent matter. And the joy of this is that a word that was explained to me is actually incorrect. At least I think it is – there could be more than one, of course. You are an education Sharon and I thank you for bringing such wisdom to the #tweensteensbeyond linky

  6. October 25, 2017 / 3:31 pm

    I knew talking and a thing but not the others and if I’m honest my kids have never used slang, they’ve tried it but their younger siblings have ribbed them for it as being part of a gang and so they stopped using it #tweenteensbeyond

  7. October 25, 2017 / 4:51 pm

    Our American Teenagers have slightly different slang words they use – expect for the dating thing – that seems to be universal lol. However, the slang over here is just as confusing. I mean, they use the word BAE for their “significant other”. What? I know what it means but it still is just silly. Why not just say your boyfriend/girlfriend? Makes no sense to me. #MondayStumble

  8. October 26, 2017 / 12:19 am

    Ha! I’ve asked at times in the past to have teen slang explained to me, and generally been told to go away and google it! #tweensteensbeyond

  9. Midlife Dramas in Pyjamas
    October 27, 2017 / 2:16 pm

    Lol and cool are my absolute fave (ooo there’s another) words for embarrassing my teens. “Mum! You are such a MUM!!!” They are known to frequently cry. Well yes kids…that’s EXACTLY what I am! Lol! #TweensTeensBeyond

  10. October 27, 2017 / 3:30 pm

    I still don’t understand it LOL! I really am so clueless. How did you find this out?! No-one in my house is willing to explain it to mer! I do know about ‘flanter’ though which is apparently flirty banter! How cool am I? Thanks so much for sharing with sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

  11. October 28, 2017 / 7:13 am

    haha classic! Mine is yet to date, so I haven’t heard these terms yet, I think I have a lot to learn soon, scary days are coming #tweensteensbeyond

  12. November 1, 2017 / 8:56 pm

    Peng is the one that is mentioned the most in our house! Particularly now that the eldest is back for reading week and is on full party mode! I also love Chirpse! How is that our kids have a great education go off to Uni and come back making no sense. I speak as a woman who has been away for a few days with youngest teen, arrived home only tonight to a house full of older teens on a “pre” and walked in wishing I had a teen dictionary to hand as they all engaged in complete mumbo jumbo babble! Wonder if they would understand that! #TweensTeensBeyond

    • November 1, 2017 / 10:48 pm

      Lol thing is will you be using ‘peng’ for describing things soon? And what’s a ‘pre’? It’s all double Dutch to me! Thanks for reading & commenting made me chuckle x

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