I can’t believe it’s September – just think it won’t be long until Christmas or more importantly, not long till I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’. Ooooh I wonder who will be in it this year, what A lister can we look forward to and what off the Alphabet Lister will we all be googling to find out who the hell they.
I love September the start of Autumn. To be honest, you may know from previous posts I’m not reaaaaaaaaaallllly a summer person. I prefer frosty mornings, nights in, fluffy pj’s and my bed warming up nicely with our electric blanket, dual control of course!
September heralds the beginning of the no-need-to-shave-legs-for-ages season. Let’s pause here for a sec to appreciate just what a bloody relief it is. All further use of razors and hunting shaving gel is suspended until at least Spring.
September sees TV go from what is this shit? to a whole load of decent ‘drama stuff’ and the Great British Bake Off. All annoyingly shown at the same time on different channels. Thank God for Sky Q.
Early greetings of “morning” are replaced with “OMG it’s so cold, is the heating not on?”, (naturally his nibs is still with the “morning” greeting).
It’s the only time of the year, apart from Christmas, when I enjoy popping into the supermarket. That warm, fuzzy feeling when I walk in to see a sight to behold, the all recognisable blue & purple tubs back and underfilled with bite size chunks of chocolate. Welcome back Roses and Miniature Heros.
To mark this annual celebration, I like to get off to a flying start and double up, after all I have kids and who knows how long the 2 for £8 offer will last?
These tubs allow us as a family to spend quality time together, indulging in a favourite game of mine, (and one I’m particularly good at) how many tubs can we get through before Christmas.
The beauty of this game is it only needs one player (mainly me). To be honest, I think its best played solo until only toffees are left.
WE DONT NEED THE HEATING ON.
While September heralds the arrival of colder nights and mornings that one thing that sets it apart from any other month is, the resurrection of the heating police aka his nibs.
What is it with men and bloody heating? If I dare to say ‘I’m cold’, I’m promptly told the heating doesnt need to be on.
He likes nothing more than repeating the following, daily even hourly:
- Not until the 1st October;
- It’s not cold;
- There’s something wrong with you feeling that cold;
- Put a jumper on if you’re cold;
- Think yourselves lucky, in my day we had frost on the inside of our windows;
- Did you have the heating on today?
- The weather shows its going to be 18/19/20 degrees tomorrow
SECRET HEATING MOMENTS
His ambition, this year, is to beat last years record of making it right through to the middle of October before turning on the heating.
It’s a really big deal, and one he has many discussions about with friends over a pint.
“Just think how much money we’ve saved last year by not having it on in September” he said proud as a peacock. Ever the dutiful wife I allow him that moment, after all ignorance is bliss.
Luckily, in the absence of radiator heat I have the chilly evenings covered – the fire in our living room – this saves any potential loss of fingers, toes or ears to frostbite.
With a nice t-shirt temperature, his nibs is usually heard gasping for air whilst whispering how, any minute he is going to pass out with the heat, dramatic I know.
All he has to do open the door to Narnia aka living room door to allow the cold air in to circulate and momentarily revive him.
Any longer than ‘momentarily’ and I am prone to spontaneous ear splitting shrieks of “shut the dooooooooooooooorrrrrr”.
WHO WEARS THE TEMPERATURE TROUSERS?
When the heating is finally switched on the next ‘battle’ is – what temperature should it be?
His nibs and I differ on temperatures, enormously. I like to crank it up to a respectable ‘heatwave’ temperature whilst he likes to bring it now a few notches to I ‘can-just-feel-my-fingers’ degree.
Turn it up, turn it down, turn it up, turn it down. Repeat. It’s a real battle of the wills between us.
The one advantage I have this year is, with a new boiler and an accompanying all singing, dancing thermostat his nibs as yet to use it.
I will of course leave him to work it out in his own time, as I will be far too busy keeping warm to show him how it works.
Of course, I’m sure our house isn’t the only house limited to this. Who else has a husband like mine?