SHOCK DISCOVERY: Two local teenagers unearth a Ghostbusters mug along with an impressive collection of mugs, plates and matching cutlery.
A total of 2 cupboards worth, part of a family collection usually kept in kitchen cupboards, was discovered by Pippy 17, learning to drive and Dippy, 15 in their bedrooms in a village near Winging-It.
Mummy Buck, former 80’s chick, told The Daily Grief:
“I’m over the moon with the return of all my crockery and I’m chuffed to monkey’s to be re-united with my treasured Ghostbusters mug, I honestly thought I’d lost it forever”.
Mummy Buck reeling from the mornings’ events, spoke of her shock at Pippy & Dippy firstly even tidying their rooms and secondly finding the haul.
She recalled “Well, it was like any other school morning. The kids were late out of bed, the younger two were moaning about having to go to school and I was wishing I’d gone to work”.
“Looking back, I should have known the older two were up to something when Dippy wasn’t in the chair snoozing and Pippy wasn’t at the table surrounded by make-up, facial wipes, a mug of coffee to waste while continually poking her tongue out at her phone”.
“Just before it all happened, I was in the kitchen replenishing the fluffy one’s bowl with breakfast, when I heard a loud clattering noise.
From the corner of my eye, I saw something moving…..albeit quite slowly. As I looked up, I saw Dippy coming towards me, arms laden down with plates and cups”.
“He simply smiled and walked straight past all available workspace straight to the dishwasher”.
“I watched, barely able to believe my eyes, as he opened the door with ease, placing each item of crockery perfectly into the appropriate racks.
He managed all this with no guidance from me at all.
“I was shocked, my legs went weak. It took a few minutes for me to take in what was happening”.
“Just as I went to speak, Pippy 17, learning to drive walked in, also laden down with cups & plates”.
“My first reaction on seeing her was one of horror, she’d only gone and perched her bloody mobile phone right on top of the mug mountain”!
“Jeez, I nearly lost my life. All I could see was a massive repair bill should it fall and break. Not to mention the separation anxiety Pippy would in turn suffer”.
“Like Dippy, she took the unusual step of walking by all available worktop space and began loading the dishwasher like it was something she did every day”.
“Only last night, Daddy Buck and I were discussing the shortage of mugs & plates.
I said we needed to make a trip to Ikea to buy some new ones. Daddy Buck wasn’t keen at all.
“I can’t wait to text him later and let him know he won’t have to go after all. He’ll be over the bloody moon. He hates trips to Ikea.
If it wasn’t for their meatballs he wouldn’t go at all”.
Local Child Expert, Dr. N.O. Chance, author of ‘Getting Kids to Listen’ said:
“Too often parents get stuck in a revolving wheel of negative talk,” said the father of none.
“Parents are often shocked when their kids don’t listen and quickly fall into the trap of shouting. “They should learn to focus more on just asking in a calm voice. For example:
can you tidy your room today please?
let’s see how many mugs you can retrieve from your room. I bet you can’t bring me out 20 plates in the next 15 minutes.
“The simple act of asking can have a much more positive effect then yelling or screaming demands such as “get back in that room and bring out all those mugs, plates and any other shit hiding in there”.
“Threats and resorting to bribes are, in my opinion a no-no” said the local child expert, father of none.
Mummy Buck read with
boredom interest what the father of none, child expert wrote.
Unable to share her thoughts on his advice through hysterical laughter we spoke to Dippy, 15.
He confirmed Mummy Buck has been nagging for ages about their rooms being a mess. He said “I can’t see what her problem is or why it evens bothers her.
“It’s not like she has to sleep in there. The way I see it, my mess, my problem……I don’t have a problem with it, so why should she?”
“All she does it nag, nag, nag about bringing out mugs, plates, and rubbish. It’s like she’s stuck on repeat constantly saying:
‘tidy your room, tidy your room, where’s all my mugs gone? blah, blah, blah…’
“To be honest, most of the time I stick my headphones on to drown out all the nagging”.
“However, it was getting to the point where I found it a pain trying to get to my desk or bed.
I kept tripping over plates and mugs. Plus my foot kept sticking to certain areas of the floor”.
“he’s right, Mummy Buck is prone to shouting and making wild accusations. Whenever any mug or plate goes missing, she’s straight on our case, blaming us. Her favourite one being:
‘I bet they’re all in your bloody rooms’
She doesn’t care if we have friends over. That doesn’t stop her giving off, it’s so embarrassing sometimes”.
“And it really annoys me, the way she ALWAYS blames us.
She hardly EVER blames the younger two. Pip-Jnr is just as bad, yet she gets away with it as she’s ‘younger’.
“With my birthday just around the corner and Christmas coming, we figured it would be foolish not to at least to do some of what we are told.
Mummy Buck has already started with the usual threats of cutting back on gifts and promises of how she will upload photos to Facebook if rooms aren’t tidied.
Pippy and Dippy agreed:
“We couldn’t risk it, tidying up was the only option” they both said.
According to Mummy Buck, she is now looking forward to enjoying hot chocolate with a massive overload of marshmallows in her treasured Ghostbusters mug.
At the time of printing, it was rumored that Pippy and Dippy had even made their beds, this has yet to be confirmed.