How many times have I got to tell you….?

Do you find your kids never hear you when you ask them to do something? yet they don’t have any diagnosed hearing problem.

I know unbelievable isn’t it!!

Selected Hearing

It’s a daily struggle in our house.  However, all is not lost, I have found ways of getting around these ‘hearing issues’.

I either:

start a conversation with their dad whereby hey presto one of them will appear interested to know what’s going on, and what it was I just said to Dad

or my favourite:

Unplug the broadband and wait.  1, 2…. when not one but all four kids will appear from nowhere.


There are times, usually 95% of the time where my kids are all prone to bouts of ‘forgetfulness’ (See ALSO HOMEWORK) and periods  of ‘temporary mess blindness’ TMP for short.

From wet towels on floors to used plates & cups balancing on any flat surface the kids with their TMP are able to successfully navigate their way around the ‘unseen’ mess to another room untouched by children’s mess; only kidding there is no such room.

Anyway, who am I to make a fuss.  If I get my “not having this shit” hat on & start cracking the whip I’m told to chill and not be so moody.  After all they were ‘just about to do it’ as I started firing off.

With all mess moved and lobbed elsewhere, they all disappear to their pit of doom, fondly known in a world without kids bedrooms.

Maybe I ask too much.  After all, expecting them to bend down & pick up what they dropped, even clear their mess up when there is no monetary benefit to them whatsoever,  is a biggie, maybe even a bloody cheek.

But hey who am I to complain.  After all, and I quote “you chose to have children” ball is batted at me every time.  I love a teenage smart arse.

We all know (excluding children) parenting is exhausting.  According to my kids, being a kid/teen is way more exhausting.  After all I have no idea how hard school is!

Poor things.  They have to get up so early, go to school for the WHOLE day and come home to do homework, and lots of…..err….em….lots of other exhausting things.  Its sooooooo frustrating when catchup is bieng slow!

Me tired? No, how can I be all I do is sit on my laptop all day.  My life is a breeze.

It struck me recently, when watching the new kids film ‘Sing’ (which I loved!) one of the characters, Rosita (a pig) is a married stay-at-home mum of twenty-five children.

When a local talent contest gives her the chance to showcase her singing, she is desperate to audition but, being a mother life is hectic and her needs are second to her children’s.

However, not to be deterred and unable to share her dream with her tired husband and kids who never listen (sound familiar!) she sets about setting up a vast assortment of contraptions to take care of her housework, meals, send her children off to school, put them to bed.

She has even has the foresight to record specific dialogue, recording a reminder to her husband where his keys are.

She records a bedtime story for her kids and her saying ‘goodbye’ for the morning.

It all goes well and they don’t even notice she has gone!

I thought of how many times I repeat things at home, or in my teenage son’s word ‘bloody nag’ on a daily basis.  I could easily record what I say and press play and just shove off somewhere.

Would they notice I wasn’t there? I wonder, after all,  most days are spent walking around with one eye shut, the other eye firmly placed on phone whilst arguing with siblings.

No I don’t think they would notice, well not until they wanted something.

As I started to write, I realised very quickly I say a lot!  This is just a mere snippet of some of the same ‘ole crap I  use, every day.

They are in no particular order of importance and are used in an unlimited capacity.

  1. Hurry up
  2. Just GET dressed
  3. Have you seen the time?
  4. We are going to be late
  5. Just eat it.
  6. Well you’re not getting anything else.
  7. Think of the poor starving children in Africa.
  8. Who’s everyone?
  9. I said NO.
  10. Because we can’t afford it.
  11. For Christ’s sake, stop arguing.
  12. Leave your brother alone
  13. I said BED!!!!!
  14. I hope you’re not still on that phone
  15. Have you got homework?
  16. Have you done your homework?
  17. Are you listening to me?
  18. Are you actually watching this?
  19. Make sure you tidy up.
  20. No, I haven’t seen it.
  21. No, you come here.
  22. Where’s your PE bag?
  23. Drop the attitude.
  24. There is no way I would have spoken to my Mum & Dad like that.
  25. This is not music!

So, in closing, how many, if any of the above do you use on a daily basis?

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