Being a Mum to girls means………..

I remember it well, the first time it happened.  Getting ready for work I discovered my mascara was missing cue a frantic search and a rude reception from Ciara as I burst into her bedroom.  Where I discovered it – my mascara.

That was just the beginning, of what has become the longest ever game of hide and seek!

Based on my experience girls are:

  1.  More likely to be involved in drama.
  2. Always keen to share their suffering with period pain, which incidentally worse than we’ve ever had! Pointing out it has nothing on childbirth is, apparently not helpful!
  3. Always involved with a drama (see sibling induced).
  4. Fluent in eye rolling and daily ailments
  5. Disagreeing with everything said
  6. Usually looking at their phones when you are talking to them.

Lets look in a bit more detail at other infuriating habits:

  • Often daughters will appear wearing a recognisable eyeshadow that appears to be from that new, unused Naked eyeshadow pallet you treated yourself to. No, she didn’t ask, because well she didn’t think you would mind.  Remnants of which may be freshly trodden into her bedroom carpet, to accompany the black eyeliner and hint of dark, fake tan already forming a piece of abstract art carpet style!  Your favourite nail varnish all dried up because the lid wasn’t put back on properly!
  • Trips to the bathroom will be long. Kicking off with the hunt for that new shower gel you ‘hid’ that has somehow disappeared.  Discovering endless toothpaste lids in your search before discovering it half used in the shower along with empty shampoo bottles, and your new specific for you hair, shampoo  bottle laying on its back, lid open on the shower tray its contents spilling out!
  • Arguments I become drawn in to, are mostly pointless, tedious and without end. For example, constant updates concerning brothers behaviour/language/aggression etc, will leave you fighting the urge to scream ‘foxtrot Oscar’.
  • Always keen to point out imperfections, for example focusing  more on what I don’t do eg. not disciplining their brothers adequately!
  • And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…….it does. They invite a hoard of their friends over so they can all get ready together for their night out. Worse still are all coming back for a sleepover.  Que the constant stream of girls in and out of the bathroom & kitchen.  Que my will to live packing up and leaving!  See ‘one hell of a mess’.
  • Endless text requests ‘what’s for dinner?/cant you lend me £?/where are we going on holiday next year?/can I have a lift later?  If I don’t respond immediately (being at work is not an excuse!) – the messages  ‘?’ will follow.
  • Bedrooms looking like they just stepped out of an episode of Hoarders. Clothes strewn across the floor aka floordrobe, empty cans, collection of glasses and cups, some empty some half-filled, empty crisp packets, half eaten burger and an indication the oddly coloured, furry to touch item was once edible.  Only bonus discovering the tweezers you thought you’d lost!
  • Spates of online shopping will result in excitement as parcel after parcel arrives before discarding unwanted items along with amounts of packaging on available surfaces such as sofa or floor and leaving Mum to re-package, print a label on the ‘low on ink’ printer, look up drop off points and head off to deliver!
  • Make up wipes, used and abandoned in various spots round the house with no ownership
  • Popular sayings: I was just about to.  Why does he always get away with it?  You always  blame me.   It’s not fair.  Why do I always have to do everything?  Well you leave your stuff out!  There’s nothing to eat in this house?  Why cant we have something ‘different’ to eat? When are you going shopping? Can I come?
  • Ever picked up a pair of their jeans ready to wash only to find  knickers still tucked inside? You definitely have daughters.
  • Freshly pressed clothes will remain exactly where you left them. Placing them on the stairs or in a strategic spot outside their bedroom door results in nothing.  They can step over them without so much as a downwards glance unscathed by this hurdle.  When seeking a top will rifle through the pile on stairs before retrieving wanted item and moving on.
  • Oh, and when upset at Mum who is believed to be ruining her life, will hunt down Dad to seek the right answer to their question.

Anyone else have similar issues?

As previously published in my weekly column in Thats Life