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She lost him at the start!

I love my Alexa, from the minute she moved in we bonded.  If you asked my fam-a-lam they’d all say Alexa has been brainwashed to only play Chris Country Radio (see a load of rubbish) as soon I enter the room.

Once in a while I up-the-anti, and go all techno asking her to send a message for me, add something to my shopping list (which I never look at it, I just like adding) and hey presto, without so much as a pause she does it all.

I even have a new ‘gadget’ on board.  This ‘gadget’ will supposedly allow me to shut down all attached devices with one command.  The only stumbling block, I need to read the instructions (kids usually do this for me) and they seem to be written in double dutch.

However, I won’t be beaten, I want this to be a surprise for my kids.   I can’t wait to see their faces!!!

Alexa play………..

Cue hubby and his instruction to Alexa to play a bunch of highly paid men waffling on about the should have’s, the almost’s, lame excuses shite, or as he calls it ‘football news’, and the problem starts.

She just doesn’t understand what he’s saying!

*Disclaimer* I’m in no way an Alexa expert, call it a hunch but I reckon if hubby spoke to Alexa as he speaks to all human people he might be onto a winner.

He’s just…..erm misunderstood!

Annoyingly, for him, he sometimes misses the all-important boring ball headlines due to what he describes as ‘technical issues’.  So technical, Alexa with all her knowledge can’t work it out.

Rather than speak to Alexa in his normal voice, he adopts different voice’s, one which sounds like he’s trying to summon the dead with another sounding like he’s having his windpipe squeezed!

He just complicates something that is, well, not complicated!

Anyone else’s husband like this? A friend of ours, who shall remain anonymous, continually calls their Alexa ‘Siri’ and wonders why she doesn’t respond!

The Pain is Real

*Note this is NOT a list of tips & tricks for Alexa.  This is one example of my hubbies attempt at playing Talk Sport, Alexa style*

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Colour Code Ref:      Husband   Alexa    Kid

*said in quick fired succession* ‘Alexa play Talk Sport’
Playing Walk the Talk by Doppelganger.
Eh??? What shit is this’?
It’s Monday the 19th March.
‘bloody woman, I know what day it is! AlexaARRRRR playyyARRRRRR  TalkkkARRRRRRR  SportttARRRRRRR
Playing After School Club.
‘FFS, what’s up with this bloody stupid thing’?
I’d rather not answer that.
‘Right….Alexa,  PLAY……TOOOOOORRRRKKKKKKK  SPOORRRRRRRRRRRRT’
Adding Pork to your shopping list.
‘Shopping list! I didn’t mention bloody shopping’
*Hovers over Alexa, adds Italian accent* Alexa’Arr  Play’Arr  Talk’Arr  Sport’Arr’
Sorry, I don’t know that one.
*eye rolling, accompanied huffing and now he’s shouting* ‘ERRRRR….LEXXXXX…ERRRRR PLAY….ERRRR TALKERRRR SPORTERRRRR on Tunein’.
I could not find a programme called Let’s Play a Tune on a Tin on Tunein.
Seriously?? this Alexa thing is taking the absolute piss now’
She’s going to piss her pants isn’t included with Prime but is available with Amazon music unlimited, would you like to learn more?
‘Alexa you’re bloody stupid’.
You can always send feedback through the feedback app (don’t think he will be doing that any time soon!)
*Desperate shout out for one of the kids* ‘Can you sort this bloody Alexa thing out, I can’t get her to play talk sport for me‘?
*annoyed kid walks in & with normal no frills or special effects voice says* ‘Alexa play Talk Sport’

‘Playing Talk Sport’

and repeat…!